Breaking Free

The menthrough broken wall

Dear Ami,
We’ve been down this road before and I thought we’d closed the curtain on it. Apparently, the opposite is the case here. Identifying yourself with your mistakes thereby preventing yourself from taking up new endeavors or trying something new; all the while, keeping your head high by telling yourself: this is who you are, and this is how you are suppose to live—isn’t exactly an improvement. Is it now?

I think like the saying goes, you’ve become a captive of ‘that’ identity, living in the prison of your own creation. See, don’t allow the illusion of perfection incapacitate you, because perfection is a never ending journey. Mistakes(when learned from) on the other side, are stepping stones towards becoming the person you’re meant to be. They shed you and allow space for growth.

Take a leap forward and get over your mistakes!

Yours always,
La Joya.


Depressed woman in bed with hands on face

Dear Ami,
Life won’t always play out the way you want it to, coming to terms with that fact helps you prepare for anything. At times, it’s a bed of roses and other times a bed of thorns. As soothing as the bed of roses are, so also is the excruciating pain of the bed of thorns. I know you are hurting, my dear. And I can’t begin to assume I completely understand what’s going on in your mind. I do hope I’m able to get across to you with this letter.

Hurt is the most excruciating pain anyone can feel. It is a hidden inner attitude that we carry around which festers in denial and dissipate in acceptance. Hurts IMO produces three kinds of people: the one who gives in, the one who fights back and the one who lets go.

(i) The one who gives in, is one who is consumed by hurt and remain caged in the prison of grief. This person finds it hard to heal, and has a way of defining life from the point of hurt and becomes very suspicious of those around him/her. ‘Never trust anyone’’ becomes their slogan.

(ii) The one who fight back, is the one who pays back. He/she is aflame with hurt and seeks to spread that flame on everything along his/her path. He or she is fueled by vengeance with the slogan, “if I can’t get back at the person who hurt me, I might as well do it to someone else.”

(iii) Then there’s the one who lets go. This person is the one who has been able to deal with the hurt, and accepts it. “Yes, it happened to me, but it doesn’t mean the end of the world. I’m broken, but I don’t have to stay broken forever. I’d pick up the pieces and keep moving on.” This person understands life as a journey and that on life’s journey, there are certain motions in play you can’t pinpoint until they start playing out on a larger context in shaping your life.
I hope you’d be able to put a line through this letter and write me ASAP. I would love to hear from you, my friend.

Yours always,
La Joya.