Be Open-minded

Dear Ami,
My apologies for leaving the meeting the other day without bidding you goodbye. I just don’t like arguments especially with folks who veers too quickly away from the topic of discussion into throwing insults and mocking the other party; neither with folks who are not objective and enters a conversation with the aim to win, as though it’s a competition instead of an educative endeavour.
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This is because have come to the understanding that, being able to ask good questions and debate all sides of an argument shows one has a good grasp of the topic in discussion. Thus, anything other than that shows a lack knowledge and a tactics to cover up for ignorance. But then again, should we guise our ignorance? No, because we are all in one way or the other ignorant, and that’s why it’s important to keep an open mind.
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However, I must confess your patience is admirable and I hope to grow mine to that point.
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Yours always,
La Joya.

Once Upon A Time

Dear Ami,
“I love you so much from the depth of the organ that pumps the blood that flows through my veins,” you said to me once and my heart melted. Once, I was like an oasis in the desert to you, the wind that set your sail and brought you safely on shore; the sweet melody that calms your nerve, and the balm that soothes your pain.

You gazed into my eyes once and your remark was that you see your paradise in them. “James, I’m not a hopeless romantic. I’ve never allowed myself to be that way,” you said, …”but once I felt for a minute what I felt with you, you ruined me and I didn’t want to settle for less.”
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Now, all of a sudden, I’m the nightmare you want to wake up from, the sour taste in your mouth you want to spit out, a sight of irritation that you never want to behold and the path you never want to walk again. While I’m sorry we didn’t work out and apologized for breaking your heart. I want you to remember you loved me once. And, if we can’t even sit face to face and have a healthy conversation or even say hello to one another, then what was it we once shared?
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Yours always,
La Joya.

Be Awakened

Dear Ami,
At times we can be so sure of the future and still fear it. It can be so close to us—as close as our fingers could touch themselves yet appears so far away from us; for the closer we get in touch with it, the further it becomes to us. Then I wondered, why would something trap within us seems to be a trap to us?
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Then I realized it’s not the future we truly fear. We’re simply shaken by the size of it and doubt our ability to become and meet the demands of what great things it holds. We fear it’s too great a thing and that we cannot become all it holds for us.
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Our past failures like thorns chokes us, so at the thought of the future, those failures are reinforced and we fear we are simply going to repeat them. Likewise, our present on the other hand doesn’t look like the future we see and we feel the need to give up and stop dreaming.
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But guess what? Like Ralph Waldo Emerson rightly said, “what lies behind and before us are tiny matters compare to what lies within us. The future lies within you and cannot be stopped by your past failures nor by your unseemly present. You are the future busy unfolding, my dear. Be awakened!
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Yours always,
La Joya.

Indulge Your Curiosity

Dear Ami,
If there is anything we must continually stay committed to, it’s to learning, unlearning and relearning. And one of the ways we can achieve that is by reading. Reading is good. We can’t overemphasize its importance.
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“Read to refill the wells of inspiration,” was the advice of Herold Ockenga, who took a suitcase of books on his honeymoon. While further reiterating the importance of reading, he made a few points as to how and how not to read. Which I’ll like to briefly state:

i.Read not to contradict or confuse, nor to believe and take for granted nor to find talk and but to discuss, weigh and consider.
ii.Some books are to be tested, others to be swallowed and some few to be chewed and digested.
iii.Read for intellectual growth. Read to acquire new information. To keep current with time and be well informed; for if a man is known by the company he keeps, so also his character is reflected in the books he reads.
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Reading is our watchtower to the world, the means via which we indulge our curiosity, and a channel for the flow of ideas between one mind to another. Be given to reading, my dear. Reading is good!
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Yours always,
La Joya.

Think Twice

Dear Ami,
After reading your letter of what transpired between you and Angie, I think there’s something you should know. Belief isn’t a one size fit all not even in cases where it seems apparently so, because a group of people could share the same beliefs and still go about how they relate with it differently and that’s where their personalities comes into play.

While you have an understanding by which you’re currently leading your life, the waters of that understanding would be muddied when you present it to others by completely disregarding their belief system without being objective. But by being objective, you prove that you truly have an understanding and also give the other person a chance to take into consideration what you are throwing at them.
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You don’t expect others to swallow your food while you spit on theirs. Trade wisely and with love.
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Yours Always,
La Joya.